Join brutters Bill and Brim Stark as dey anzer all your ‘ome emprovement guestions and guandaries. Such tapics include: Hawe to successfully melt dawn your paperclips to creet an adequate adhesive, hawe to securely fasten dawn a wheather mane using da “Tool of da Week”: dey bungee cord, combating odors due to ratting animal carcasses, and da best way to build yourself a beautiful ‘omemade TV stand using old wood. Tule Tame.
Provided with so much time on ones hands in recent weeks, the ability to sit and ponder certain subjects is at an all time high. Join the “Monsters” as they discuss such things as puzzles, pools, and the fasanating and unespected history of the railroads. With so many options for entertainment, we are happy you have chosen us to listen to, we appreciate the many letters and gift baskets, and look forward to many more years of giving you the fun audio programs you so desire and deserve. God bless you, and God bless the Chicago Bears.
Zoom meetings are hard. Technology is hard. The world wide web is hard. Sitting at home all day is hard. Looking at yourself in the mirror and documenting how much weight you have gained is hard. Washing your hands more than once a day is hard. Wearing a mask when it’s not October is hard. Using your bath mat as substitute toilet tissue is hard. Eating 5-6 full meals a day even when you’re not hungry is hard. Shaving your larger than normal face is hard. Missing family and friends is hard. Wiping down all mail and packages with a random wet rag is hard. Eating 5 course dinners with elaborate ingredients is hard. Consuming exotic breads is hard. Sitting for long stretches of time while searching various online streaming services is hard. Bathing is hard. Answering questions from those inhabiting the same household is hard. Drinking every night is hard. But we do these things not for ourselves, we do these things as a collective, as one, for the greater good. Stay healthy, stay happy. Go Bears.
Sitting here alone on my porch as the dawn breaks and the eager breeze moves over the contours of my skin untangling every hair perking up to greet the sun, enveloping all the nooks and crannies of the hardest to reach untouched crypts and chasms which lie deep within my wonderland, with its sweet and brisk breath, I welcome the air as it bathes my body and cleansizes my soul. Won’t you join me?
With so much uncertainty and panic swirling around, its becoming clearer each day that there’s no place to hide from the sure doom and awful certainty that awaits us mouth-breathing larger-than-normal human beings. So hunker down atop your mountain of TP, dip your face in some weapons grade sanitation cream and sip on a bleach smoothy, its time to ride this thing out.
Ya gotta enjoy da little tings or else dey will pass ya on by. Like a good cambo sandwich with extra motz on garlic, loaded wit hot peps. Or a king size breaded steak with extra meat, extra motz, on garlic with extra sweet peps. Now dats a nice ting. Ya see its easy to walk tru dis ting we call life wit out even enjoying a double hat dag wrapped in bacon on garlic with hot peps and grilled onions, or maybe even being so blind as to not even noticing the jumbo slice of stuffed za with sausage and mush under neff ya nose. For crips sake take a minute bozo, let your friggin hair down, and enjoy the bounty, cuz ya never no when dis wild ride will come to a screeching halt. - Bill
Full Moon Weekly is a bi-weekly publication which explores in great detail the vast nature, rocky expanse, and pure glory of our most trusted of floating natural satellites, the Moon. Featuring cutting edge editorials from today’s most acclaimed moon-men/women and space aficionados, ground breaking sky-science, as well as any and all things moon related, FMW is a safe haven for all levels of planetary moon lovers.
It hits us like a ton of bricks. Initially questions begin to stir: Who? What? Where? When? And above all else WHY? Why did this happen, and how can we go on? Its the natural human response to loss. We begin to compromise with our higher power and negotiate the level and intensity of our feelings. But alas, we are just mere mortals walking alone in this journey we call life. Those we love grace us with their presence but can leave us in an instant, like the morning dew. However, unlike the dew, their sparkle will continue to shine on forever, in our heats, our souls… our memories. “Heroes come and go, but legends never die” - The Ghost of Babe Ruth
Lots of exciting things are happening here at WVBI. So what better way to showcase all this exciting content then to give a sneak peak at all the excitement in store for your ears come this spring. It sure will be exciting. And knowing the level of excitement each and every one of you will no doubt experience come this spring, we thought it was in ours and your best interest if we quell some of the future excitement by giving you a little taste. You see, if this excitement is not handled and dealt with in a responsible manner, it can cause harm, which can be exciting in another type of dangerous way, but its not the kind of excitement we here at the station like to condone. You dig?
I give and give and give and give… Always doing, doing, doing… Fixing the problems, finding the solutions, looking at the data, analyzing the data, working the data, graphing the data, cleaning up, throwing out the rubbage, constructing large ornamental industrial designs from locally sourced organic materials, sopping up spilled sodas and other miscellaneous liquids which others have tip-toed over. It never seems to end. So… Am I hero you ask? Nay. But dog gone-it, it sure would be nice if I got a little recognition once and a while. Weesh.
It’s the Monsters in the Morning Annual Year End Top 19 of 2019 List of Underappreciated People, Places, and Things of the Year 2019 and Beyond. Essentially its a list of “nouns”. Many of these “nouns” you have heard of, spoken yourself, carried in your hands, swallowed into your tummy or viewed through your own eye(s). Lists… They’re fun.
As the year winds down and we all widen a little more, here at Monsters in the Morning we would like to wish you all a happy, joyous, belly-filled, sloth-like holiday. So, in order to celebrate the season, as we have done for the past 30+ years, we would like to present the re-broadcast of Cotton Man’s now infamous holiday Christmas Album: A Sleigh Full of Cheer. God Bless you and the Chicago Bears. Hugs.
Life is a show. A performance. A work of art. It’s entertainment baby! By breathing the oxygen in front of us and moving about throughout the ether using our legs or some sort of other moving apparatus, we are full fledged participants in the on-going story line. We are the key players. In essence we’re all stars. Shine.
The holidays can be hard: the rushing, the planning, the purchasing, the stuffing of your face, the gaining of weight, the struggle to move from one sofa to another sofa, the battle to buckle your pants, the realization that your belt doesn’t fit any more, the pastie dumps, the clogging of relatives or close family friends toilets, the ruining of newly finished washrooms, the constant lying about overflowing the toilet then leaving it to flood/tossing the decorative towels a top the shitty water and tip toeing away. Indeed the holidays can be rough, just know your not alone.
Coming in at just under 2 hours, The Big Cat Saga follows Mike and Charley as they search for Big Cat’s Treasure. It was originally broadcast as a serial in 9 separate episodes in the summer of 2019. Today it is presented uncut and in its full entirety.
Well here we go again folks! Another biiiiiiiiiig Monsters episode where Mike and Charley break down all things sports and sports themed non-issues and what not. This week these two pillars of the community and engineers of fandom provide deep insight to the continuing bears woes, unpack the complexities of the gridiron, and open up the mailbag to see where that big ‘ol cat has been seen. Sports + Fans = Fun?
It’s Evenings with Touchdown Charley. Join TDC as he welcomes animal expert Matt Plastic from the Muddlechote Zoological Society as things get, well lets just say a bit dirty. It’s Evenings with TDC? Si.
Pack your bags mother fuckers!
Kiss your babies and baby mamas good bye assholes!
Call your boss and tell ‘em you won’t be at work for a few days dickhead!
And most importantly: Don’t forget your boots bitches!
‘Case we are going to Nash - mother fuckin - Vegas!
A show all about pickles? They said it couldn’t be done. Well, they were wrong. Join Dilly Dan and Sweet Baby J as they talk all things pickle. That’s right! Pickles! From sweet- sour to dill, garlic to bread and butter, Kosher to non, here at WPKL Pickle Radio we pride ourselves in glorifying all things gherkin. So sit back, pop open a jar of your favorite brine, and snap into a tastier kind quagmire.
Take this message as a sign of good faith and peace of mind that progress is being made towards some of the most hard lined issues at the crux of this current contract negotiation. In response to your concern for cleanliness within the confines of the studio, we are now ready and willing to formally respond by offering a monthly wash down mainly focused on removing all major areas with concentrated fecal matter build up. Moving on, in response to your your highly vocal and sought after want of a daily rotating seasonal buffet complete with artisan beverage station, we are now willing and ready to commit to providing each staff a Subway sandwich platter to be served yearly on the day before Christmas break. We look forward to continuing the discussion.
Sincerely,
WVBI Mgmt
