With so much uncertainty and panic swirling around, its becoming clearer each day that there’s no place to hide from the sure doom and awful certainty that awaits us mouth-breathing larger-than-normal human beings. So hunker down atop your mountain of TP, dip your face in some weapons grade sanitation cream and sip on a bleach smoothy, its time to ride this thing out.
Ya gotta enjoy da little tings or else dey will pass ya on by. Like a good cambo sandwich with extra motz on garlic, loaded wit hot peps. Or a king size breaded steak with extra meat, extra motz, on garlic with extra sweet peps. Now dats a nice ting. Ya see its easy to walk tru dis ting we call life wit out even enjoying a double hat dag wrapped in bacon on garlic with hot peps and grilled onions, or maybe even being so blind as to not even noticing the jumbo slice of stuffed za with sausage and mush under neff ya nose. For crips sake take a minute bozo, let your friggin hair down, and enjoy the bounty, cuz ya never no when dis wild ride will come to a screeching halt. - Bill
Full Moon Weekly is a bi-weekly publication which explores in great detail the vast nature, rocky expanse, and pure glory of our most trusted of floating natural satellites, the Moon. Featuring cutting edge editorials from today’s most acclaimed moon-men/women and space aficionados, ground breaking sky-science, as well as any and all things moon related, FMW is a safe haven for all levels of planetary moon lovers.
It hits us like a ton of bricks. Initially questions begin to stir: Who? What? Where? When? And above all else WHY? Why did this happen, and how can we go on? Its the natural human response to loss. We begin to compromise with our higher power and negotiate the level and intensity of our feelings. But alas, we are just mere mortals walking alone in this journey we call life. Those we love grace us with their presence but can leave us in an instant, like the morning dew. However, unlike the dew, their sparkle will continue to shine on forever, in our heats, our souls… our memories. “Heroes come and go, but legends never die” - The Ghost of Babe Ruth
Lots of exciting things are happening here at WVBI. So what better way to showcase all this exciting content then to give a sneak peak at all the excitement in store for your ears come this spring. It sure will be exciting. And knowing the level of excitement each and every one of you will no doubt experience come this spring, we thought it was in ours and your best interest if we quell some of the future excitement by giving you a little taste. You see, if this excitement is not handled and dealt with in a responsible manner, it can cause harm, which can be exciting in another type of dangerous way, but its not the kind of excitement we here at the station like to condone. You dig?
I give and give and give and give… Always doing, doing, doing… Fixing the problems, finding the solutions, looking at the data, analyzing the data, working the data, graphing the data, cleaning up, throwing out the rubbage, constructing large ornamental industrial designs from locally sourced organic materials, sopping up spilled sodas and other miscellaneous liquids which others have tip-toed over. It never seems to end. So… Am I hero you ask? Nay. But dog gone-it, it sure would be nice if I got a little recognition once and a while. Weesh.
It’s the Monsters in the Morning Annual Year End Top 19 of 2019 List of Underappreciated People, Places, and Things of the Year 2019 and Beyond. Essentially its a list of “nouns”. Many of these “nouns” you have heard of, spoken yourself, carried in your hands, swallowed into your tummy or viewed through your own eye(s). Lists… They’re fun.
As the year winds down and we all widen a little more, here at Monsters in the Morning we would like to wish you all a happy, joyous, belly-filled, sloth-like holiday. So, in order to celebrate the season, as we have done for the past 30+ years, we would like to present the re-broadcast of Cotton Man’s now infamous holiday Christmas Album: A Sleigh Full of Cheer. God Bless you and the Chicago Bears. Hugs.
Life is a show. A performance. A work of art. It’s entertainment baby! By breathing the oxygen in front of us and moving about throughout the ether using our legs or some sort of other moving apparatus, we are full fledged participants in the on-going story line. We are the key players. In essence we’re all stars. Shine.
The holidays can be hard: the rushing, the planning, the purchasing, the stuffing of your face, the gaining of weight, the struggle to move from one sofa to another sofa, the battle to buckle your pants, the realization that your belt doesn’t fit any more, the pastie dumps, the clogging of relatives or close family friends toilets, the ruining of newly finished washrooms, the constant lying about overflowing the toilet then leaving it to flood/tossing the decorative towels a top the shitty water and tip toeing away. Indeed the holidays can be rough, just know your not alone.
Coming in at just under 2 hours, The Big Cat Saga follows Mike and Charley as they search for Big Cat’s Treasure. It was originally broadcast as a serial in 9 separate episodes in the summer of 2019. Today it is presented uncut and in its full entirety.
Well here we go again folks! Another biiiiiiiiiig Monsters episode where Mike and Charley break down all things sports and sports themed non-issues and what not. This week these two pillars of the community and engineers of fandom provide deep insight to the continuing bears woes, unpack the complexities of the gridiron, and open up the mailbag to see where that big ‘ol cat has been seen. Sports + Fans = Fun?
It’s Evenings with Touchdown Charley. Join TDC as he welcomes animal expert Matt Plastic from the Muddlechote Zoological Society as things get, well lets just say a bit dirty. It’s Evenings with TDC? Si.
Pack your bags mother fuckers!
Kiss your babies and baby mamas good bye assholes!
Call your boss and tell ‘em you won’t be at work for a few days dickhead!
And most importantly: Don’t forget your boots bitches!
‘Case we are going to Nash - mother fuckin - Vegas!
A show all about pickles? They said it couldn’t be done. Well, they were wrong. Join Dilly Dan and Sweet Baby J as they talk all things pickle. That’s right! Pickles! From sweet- sour to dill, garlic to bread and butter, Kosher to non, here at WPKL Pickle Radio we pride ourselves in glorifying all things gherkin. So sit back, pop open a jar of your favorite brine, and snap into a tastier kind quagmire.
Take this message as a sign of good faith and peace of mind that progress is being made towards some of the most hard lined issues at the crux of this current contract negotiation. In response to your concern for cleanliness within the confines of the studio, we are now ready and willing to formally respond by offering a monthly wash down mainly focused on removing all major areas with concentrated fecal matter build up. Moving on, in response to your your highly vocal and sought after want of a daily rotating seasonal buffet complete with artisan beverage station, we are now willing and ready to commit to providing each staff a Subway sandwich platter to be served yearly on the day before Christmas break. We look forward to continuing the discussion.
Sincerely,
WVBI Mgmt
If you ask me this whole “sports talk thing” is a nothing but a big ol’ crock of shit! Blah! Blah! Blah! Its all l I hear spewing from my lil’ ol’ radio and it really ilks me! You hear me?! It ilks me! It. Ilks. Me. And believe me, I’m not one to take an ilk'n. Nope! If anything I’M the one ilk’n. Yep. I’ve ilk’d my fare share, especially in college, and I’ll tell you what. You keep on ilk’n me and you’ll soon be the one ilk’d. I’ll ilk the shit out of you. And once that happens… There ain’t no ilk’n back. You’ve been warned.
Oh no! There he is… He’s right there! Thats him! Oh no... Thats gotta be him. He’s right at the register asking about a fucking coupon! What to do…? Bail out? Enter another line? Run? No, you can’t run. You’ve committed to the line. Your locked in. There’s no where to go. Its over for you… It’s only a matter of time till he recognizes you and that’s it. He’s gonna wanna talk. He’s gonna be excited. He’s gonna want to ask questions. He's gonna want it all. And your gonna have to give it to him… Good luck with all that.
We talk sports. But not only do we simply “talk” sports. But in some ways, we “are” the sports. You see, by celebrating their existence, analyzing the constant stream of data, and lapping up every and all last bits of excess sporting news ooze and then regurgitating it to all to you - we in essence BECOME the sports. It becomes apart of our make up, it’s in our DNA, our genes, it burns deep within our loins. Yes. It’s true. And better yet, but by YOU letting US into YOUR lives, OUR voices into YOUR heads, WE ARE NOW PART OF YOU! WE are now ONE… Your welcome.
The search is over…
The adventure is complete…
Now it’s time to get back to the real world…
And enjoy a large plate of exotic meat… (like buffalo)
